I Love Cows! OH YEAH!

A peculiar phenomena occurs every single time I enter my bathroom: I talk to my different multiple selfs...
I know it's quite normal to talk to yourselves, but my ramblings are... how you put it... ah! Abnormal.

One day, as I flicked the lights on and was about to step into the tiny lavatory, it happened! The very moment my skin touched the cold orange tiles, the logical side of me suddenly emerged and said,
"Dogs bark."
Wow, such a short and sweet statement, but how very completely random too...
So naturally, it triggered a response from another side of me.
"Watdya mean dogs bark, ya cuckoo?! Evryone noes tat 'em aminals moo! It's teh universal troof! Wat kinda alien planet ar ye from?"
Yelling her head off was the... rather...unsound...?... side of me, which was also in other words, myself in my normal state of sanity.
My footsteps halted. Shocked at the reply, my rational self was sorta stunned for a moment as though she was hit unexpectedly by a giant fish on the head. Bonk! Then, she thought, " Whoa, I'm conversing to my...self? Hmm... But that's normal right? Kinda been happening more often now, ...but why the toilet? Strange."
Screaming in my head, an familiar frenzied voice boomed out,
" MAYBE... there's an ALIEN COW from an alternate DIMENSION that is possessing this bathroom!!! *Presses a button and an estranged aliened starry outer-space tune replaces the background elevator music* THUS, stepping into this bathroom will trigger a conversation between one's multiple self!!! Oh mi GOSH! *Gasp!* A REVELATION!"
With that thought in mind, a grin stretched across my face and lingered on until I stepped out of the bathroom... Apparently, after that conversation, I felt somewhat strangely enlightened. It was as if I had the answers to the ultimate question (which nobody actually knows)!

Now, who in this un-aliened world hold this kind of self-conversations...?

DATE: 17 MAY 2007

Oh! Mai eye is healing!! Look at teh evidence *pulls out eyelid*, there's yellow juice oozing outta me swelling red tear duct! AWESOME. *eyes an incoming finger of DOOM* HEY! NO TOUCHY ME EYELID! Let me warn you, poking will induce a reaction of a vicious RAWR! >.< *Ponders* I wonder if this juice is edible... Hm... yum yum.

DATE: 16 May 2007
[FIY: This is an absolutely meaningless entry. ^_^]
I went to see the Doc' this afternoon. And let me tell you, I absolutely HATE going to the the doctor and this visit would officially be the third time I'll be visiting Sir-smell-like-antiseptic this year (That's not a good thing! I haven't seen so many doctors in such a short span of time since I was 6! And this year is not an auspicious year for me to be ill!).
WAITING, I hate WAITING in the clinic! First, there's wait to make an appointment time. Then, there's the wait to see the doctor time. And lastly, WAIT to collect the medication time. In total, the waiting time is 1hr 15mins.
So... what do I do when I wait? I walk around randomly like a little pint-brained bumble bee with elevator music playing in my head. Dody doo~ And each time I hear a "Ting!", I would quickly jerk my head up to check the flashing light on the counter. But it usually ends with me going "AW POOP." as I stared back at the BOLD printed numbers on my waiting ticket. "5237, another # more to go!" Waiting is so painfully tiring...
Thankfully I had the company of a couple of friends who waited with me as well as entertained me too. Beforehand, they had also convinced me to overcome my laziness and walk to a clinic so that I could sit around waiting to seek the almighty consultation of a MEDIC!
These pals are an adorable bunch of people. When all the waiting had finally ended and the moment when my number flashes on the screen, they actually cheered and clapped. As I walked towards the attendant, I was thinking "My gosh, ya don't hafta be so excited... I'm just going to consult the attendant, it's not like I'm going up a podium to collect an award or somethin'... " Hahaha, cute butch of people. =D But, despite their peculiar behaviors, they are really sweet friends and I appreciate their concern. It sure is great to have people give you support sometimes.
After gettin' me my medicine for me swollen eyelid (Btw, it's a condition called Chalazion), I headed home to inspect the REMEDIES to my poor suffering EYE! One was a cute tiny bottle o' eye drop which is basically 0.9% table salt, and the other was this very fascinating ointment.
Unscrewing the cap of this tube of ointment, I witnessed a yellow jelly-like goop oozed out of the tube, spilling over my fingers as it expanded rapidly. My eyes widened as I stoned at the oozing goop which was coiling over the mouth of the tube like a worm. It was sort of mesmerizing in a weird way. Then, reality slapped me in my mind when I realized that the juicy gel is squirting out of the tube uncontrollably. Then I was like, " OH NOUZ, WHAT AM I TO DO?!"
My eyes shifted hastily from side to side in search of ideas. EUREKA! I lifted my finger and placed it on the mouth of the tube. With my finger acting as a plug, the gel stop flowing out. HAH! At that time, I was quite unaware that I was grinning as though I was in a toothpaste advertisement. " I'm a Genius!" I thought.
Okay, now it's time to pull out my lower eyelid and smudge this sticky goo all over the puffy tear duct. *OUCH* Argh, this squishy sack of juice is so sensitive to pokes. *Starts tearing* *YEOW!*

DATE: 15th May 2007

Today(!) has been a very exasperating day for me. My ey'ball itches... it itches like hell! -_0 Goddamn swollen tear duct! GO AWAY, quit prodding my precious orbs of vitreous humour! RAWRRRR!!!! RARRRR!!!! *shakes head violently* -Snap, crackle- Ow, me neck... Man, the lion effect is gone, shouldn't have snipped off my furry mane last friday. D= *sigh* IT was FLUFFY and deliciously MESSY, oh and it's fun to ruffle too. =P

Btw, while I was browsing through Wikipedia for a project yesterday, I came across a highly amusing article (Well, maybe that applies to a nonsensical person like me, or maybe just any other locals of this lil' red dot.). But, I never thought that there is actually an extensive entry about Singlish on Wikipedia (ZOMG!) that covers every aspects of the Singaporean street talk including grammer (Wah seh! Powderful siah...). But, Singlish really got so... erh... profound one meh? Haha, man this is awesome! Wah... Singlish is really a unique form of culture hor? It makes me very the proud ar!! (Oi, focus lah! But, of course, (mind you) there is a need to use it at the right place and at the right time, if not later very pai-seh then you know! CODE SWITCH!) Hmm... HANTAM, that's my favourite singlish word. That's probably attributed my desire to thwack lots of people recently, with the Counter Lady in particular. She got a very the very QIAN PIAN face that has her unsociable attitude written all over it *Shudders*. WARGH, I dun wanna think about it anymore lah!!

...Stupid eye kena infection...*grumble* I'm gonna poke ya', eyeball!

Tip: If a eyelash falls into your eyes and starts poking ye' eyeballs, DON'T RUB EVER WITH YOUR DIRTY GERM INFESTED HANDS! I elephantsize teh word "EVER"!